So there I was with my Ayahuasca cup on my right hand.

 I will finish the prayer and we all shall drink the tea, the shaman said.

Amen… amen… amen… you can drink it now, he said to me. I was the only one still stand there with the tea all inside my cup!

I cannot do it! I am sorry… My heart was already beating very fast, my hands were numb and I just wanted to run away from there.

I am hopeless…

No, you are not… drink half, you came all the way till here… there is a reason why you are here… drink half… said the shaman.

Ok, half it went down… lets sit down now and listen some songs…

No, lets not! The internal fight had begun… my panic attacks were taking over… again…

Everybody seemed so peaceful, and I was at the battlefield.

All of a sudden peace came to me, my body was tired, but my soul was actually very peaceful… I let the feeling take me and there I was… my body was sitting on the sofa, but I could see from above…

WOW, we really are a soul and a body! It was a overwhelming feeling!

I always been very spiritual but I came from a background where nobody believe in soul, so for me was incredible to see that we really have one.

I left the place that night feeling very peaceful, and proud of myself… it was only half glass, but I did… plus I didn’t lose control… yes I liked it!

The shaman told me that the vision will stop, but I will carry the light for many days.

I wasn’t very sure of what he meant, until next morning when I woke up and saw my brother.

We have 8 years gap and we always had a strange relationship… so for me to feel a hundred percent comfortable around him, always been impossible…

… but on that morning, I was happy to see him… I even felt like hugging him!

The light… now I understood it…

The problem was never on my brother, but inside me… I had just learned that.

I spoke to my brother for hours, I apologised for judging him sometimes… and I told him that I was here for him anytime he needs (and I really meant it).

The tea is sacred after all… it does transform us for the better… There are thousands of plants on amazon forest, and only those two plants together, make the Ayahuasca. The native Americans tell us that the tea was given to them by the Great Spirit, just in case we lose our way home.

Yes, I am starting to believe on that story.

The light stayed with me for a while and guided me through dark days. I am looking forward for my next ceremony…

Until there…

2 thoughts on “Wow! I have a soul!

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